It’s my favorite month but this year things are different. We are at home. Still working but things have slowed down a bit which is fine. I sleep more and have more time on my hands and yet I am not as relaxed or carefree as I should be. My partner says that I’ve always been like this, my mind is never quite which is (only) partly true.
I am waiting for an important answer. I won’t go into details here, all I can say is that it pertains to work. I’m looking forward hearing from someone but so far he/she has been silent. I don’t like silence as it can be good or bad news and I don’t like the “waiting” phase. Although, I must confess that I am not thinking about it 24/7. If I receive a positive news, my life will change and hopefully for the better. It could be a big shift and I am a slightly worried about potential new/unknown habits and schedules. Despite being frustrated about my current position, I know that – after all – I am lucky as I have a flexible work schedules. I have to meet deadlines but it doesn’t matter “where” I am. I can work on weekends or from midnight to 7 am, nobody really tells me when & where I am supposed to work. Except when I am teaching or I am traveling abroad.
I am lucky BUT… there many things that I don’ like. If I manage to change my position, things are likely to become less flexible (a lot less). Oh well, we will see.
There are also other aspects of my life that “concern” me. Perhaps 10 days in Greece will be of help. I guess I need to clarify what I want. Sometimes is clear-cut but then I realize that it’s not. It’s true that we crave for what we can’t have.
I guess I need to voice my concerns to a friend but it would entails sharing very intimate thoughts and facts. I don’t know if I am ready to do it and, more importantly, I wouldn’t talk to my three best friends as they are too close, if you can see what I mean. My two girlfriends wouldn’t understand, I think, while C. would perhaps gain a deeper understanding but … we have never really shared intimate issues…