For two nights in a row I dream of a friend who lives in the UK.
We met a few years ago. I know his family, he knows mine. We like each other, we get along but I wouldn’t consider him as a “close” friend. He is someone I really get along with and I really like as a person. And I am sure he feels the same. He is good looking but I have never been sexually attracted to him despite being very nice. Ok, to be honest I should add that we are both “taken” otherwise … well, the history is not made of ” what if”.
That said, I keep dreaming that we are together. And I know (in the dream) that it’s wrong but nonetheless there are kisses and even plans for travels! This is very strange. It has never happened to me before. I don’t know what to make of it.
Ok, I keep complaining. You’re right. It’s not a super positive blog but this is life and I haven’t been through super happy/relaxing moments lately so, why should I lie?
First, I am sleep deprived… for a change. I wake up every single day between 6 and 7 and it’s not funny as I could sleep much more. I am working but at home! There’s no point of getting up before 8 really but I can’t keep mind & brain relaxed for more than 6-7 hours. The result is that I feel like shit and I start working at 8 which is not necessary. I am obsessed with work. I suppose it’s because my colleagues are away and I feel all the responsibly on my shoulders which is exactly the case as I am taking decisions on behalf of a whole group. They are traveling around the world while I have conference calls and commitments on a daily basis. This has never happened to me in August. Never. I wish I could rely on someone but I came to realize that there’s no way out. Take it or leave it.
Second, I am still waiting for a f…email (see last post) but all I got is silence.
Third, I am obsessed with the dog. He has always been VERY healthy but he hasn’t been all that hungry these days. He doesn’t want to eat in the morning! This is really strange. The odd aspect is that he seems fine except for his attitude to food. I am concerned as his attitude has changed radically in a few days. Something is wrong. Now, I guess I should wait before taking him to the vet or rushing to worst-case scenario conclusions. However, given that we don’t have kids and that he has always been exceptionally well, I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown! Honestly, I am very concerned. Very. Believe me or not, this dog is going to be my last. I just can’t cope with health problems. I can’t. I feel so bad that I am almost sick. Headache & other stuff.
Fourth, because of the third reason, i don’t want to go on holiday. Everything is planned and booked but I can’t leave until I found out what’s wrong with the dog. I haven’t shared my thoughts with my partner as he would hate me for this and he is getting (already) quite annoyed with me (“stop taking about dog! can you relax, please?”).
So we will see but can I tell you something?
I hate this summer. I hate it. Something is just wrong. My obsessions, potential health issues, not to mention that I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I am overworked, that’s for sure. I don’t feel like going to Greece and having fun. I feel like collapsing on the couch.